Poor Pud. He's just gone blind in the past week or so. Seeing him peering about blankly, bonking into walls, positioning himself strangely and hesitantly on peculiar objects (Dave found him on top of the computer tower the other night, face about an inch from the wall) is rather heartbreaking. I know this is the beginning of the end as he's 16 and has a thyroid condition. He's losing weight rapidly and it just feels like he's going.
He's lead a long and highly adventurous life but when it comes to your pets, it's never quite long enough.
He and our old dog Sham (who died 5 years ago) were the greatest of companions and letting go of Pud feels a bit like losing that final connection to our early years together as a couple and as a family.
We're smothering him with lots of love and treats and wet (yuck) food that he happily devours. Who knows, with this kind of incentive, maybe he'll up and rally forth for a last hurrah. Nothing would surprise me with this cat.
A story:
When we moved out east 5 years ago we sent Pud ahead via airplane to my sister Claire and her husband, Simon. Pud was like a wild weasel in his cage as Dave drove him down to Kelowna to catch the flight. Claire and Simon picked him up about 8 hours later in Toronto at 2 am. He was to join them as resident cat while we relocated, found a house, etc. etc. When they picked him up, they let him out to roam free in the car which he did until they got within 6 blocks of their house at which point he stepped (cleverly) on the window button and leapt out of the window! Keep in mind this is the middle of the night. Simon stopped the car in the middle of the intersection and they chased him through yards with wheedling, encouraging voices until he slunk underneath an impassable fence.
Needless to say, they didn't get much sleep that night. The next day was spent going door to door throughout the neighbourhood, talking to everyone and papering every available hydro pole and lightpost with posters of Pud, pleading for his safe return. I was in disbelief when they called to tell us. Everything with our impending relocation had fallen into place like clockwork and Pud going missing just seemed like an impossibly incongruous omen.
Claire and Simon's diligence over the next 3 weeks was exemplary. They would both work all day, come home and scarf down their dinner before taking to the streets again until dark. Periodic calls would come in with sightings of Pud. Lost cats posters seem to call out the crazies and they had their fair share of wacky conversations but some calls were so accurate in their descriptions of Pud ("he's outside in my backyard chasing butterflies") that it left us all with great hope that he was still alive. This was all taking place in a Toronto heatwave and this poor cat relied on his twice daily Tapazol pills to keep up his weight. Claire would call up on a nightly basis checking that her "heeeeeeeeeere pudpudpudpud' sounded just right.
Dave, the kids and I left BC about two weeks after Pud's great escape, trailer in tow. We'd planned on taking a leisurely trip across the country, stopping wherever we felt like it but with Pud gone (our dear Sham had died only a few short weeks before) we blitzed through provinces with hardly a moment to even recognize where we were. Dave was pragmatically assuming this was the end for Pud. He's good at accepting things and moving on. I however was full of postpartum hormones and the loss of Sham made it impossible for me to consider not trying to join in the hunt as soon as we possibly could. It just about broke my heart to imagine Pud wandering strange streets in a state of bewildered confusion.
So, we made it to Ontario in 5 days flat, which was no small feat with 2 small children. We arrived at my parents' house, stayed less than 12 hours and were on our way to Toronto.
The first day there, Dave and Simon traipsed from one animal shelter to the next with no success. It is amazing how, when your cat is missing (particularly a grey/brown tabby) you find that there are bazillions of other cats out there that look JUST like yours. Dave said that he looked into the eyes of several such male tabbies and wondered if it was possible that they might be Pud. Under pressure, it's hard to rememeber just exactly what your missing cat looks like.
After a fruitless day, we spent the late afternoon wandering along the Danforth which was shut down for Greek days. Our children perched on their uncles' shoulders, laughter flowing between sisters, warm sun and the joy of being in a multicultural city made us feel strongly that despite all, our choice to move east was so right.
We continued our enjoyment into a restaurant, drank some wine and got nice and toasty. Returning home at 11pm I prodded a tired Dave out the door to do a late night walk around the neighbourhood. I was still clinging to the faint hope that if Pud was alive and still in the same neighbourhood, he might recognize Dave's voice and come out. Claire kept him company on foot while my other sister Anne and her partner Mike took their bikes. Simon stayed home, exhausted from 3 weeks of not enough sleep and worry. I put the kids to bed and heard the phone ringing and wondered who would call so late? Had Simon not been home, I probably wouldn't have picked it up.
It was a woman phoning to ask if we were still looking for our cat. Her father had seen a cat matching Pud's description in his frontyard and had just brought him inside. Simon took down the address which was indeed in the same neighbourhood that they'd been covering. He then called Anne who's cell phone had just enough battery power to make it through the conversation to Simon relaying the address before it died. She rode back to find Dave and Claire while Mike rode on to the house. Simon leapt in the car and tore off as I waited at home with bated breath. They all arrived within minutes of each other on this man's front lawn. And it was our dear Pud. Purring and happy and half the size of when he'd leapt out the car window three weeks earlier. The man was flummoxed by this convergence of 5 exhuberant adults all from different directions, on his front lawn at 11:30 at night. Incredible and stunning. It turns out that Dave and Claire had just passed by this very house, calling for Pud who appeared out of the dark, moments later.
I sometimes forget about this story. I become comfortable and complacent with the fact that he's here, in his proper place. I must not forget how miraculous it seemed. But yet so much depended on Claire and Simon's vigilance for which I will forever be grateful. Diligence, loyalty and love. Three things that supported this miracle.
Pud is and always has been a true Zen spirit. He wants nothing more than to receive love and return it with heavy purr and happy claw. It's so easy to make him happy but the inevitable busyness of life has made it easy to take him for granted more than we should.
He's had a seizure this morning so I know it won't be long. We will miss him deeply. 
